Simplest Way To Get Some Help

… and it will be given. Or at least it might be.

One thing constantly upsets me: so few people ask for what they want, even when they have the unlimited options available.

When I was still active with AIESEC, we already had a large group of alumni (ex-AIESECers), who were just one phone-call away. Despite that we used to „reinvent the wheel“, because we didn’t ask for help.

Nowadays, when I have the chance to help some of the young guys through my experience, I see that still happening. There’s so few of people who will just pick-up the phone and ask for help or advise (whether from me or from others).

Most of the times if you state your request honestly, you will be treated with respect. You don’t even need to be offering anything in return (though it’s great if you find some benefits for the other side).

In most of the cases, people are keen on helping. Some actually long to be given the chance to contribute to others. Some like to be asked, because it gives them the feeling of appreciation. Some might say no. But many will say „yes“.

Worst case you end up where you have started. Best case, you will get what you want. Everything it takes is to step forward. Without asking, you’ll get a „No“ for sure.

So go ahead and ask. It might be given.

Create a NOT-TO-DO List As Well

I already wrote about setting good boundaries. Now I want to share some DO-NOT-DOs, which help me to contribute my best. Maybe you can find some of them helpful:

  • don’t criticise without an alternative,
  • don’t judge before fully understanding,
  • don’t assume you know best,
  • don’t hesitate,
  • don’t underestimate people,
  • don’t argue, use arguments,
  • don’t hurt intentionally,
  • don’t postpone an apology,
  • don’t regret,
  • don’t lie (to others and yourself),
  • don’t repeat mistakes,
  • don’t quit.

Do you have your DO-NOT-DOs? Share some of them 😉

PS: for those interested, here’s a great post by Ivana Sendecka on Why Having „NOT To-Do List“ Can Save You (Time).

Four Simple Tasks To Build Trust

The biggest honour you can get from your family, friends, partners or clients is trust. It’s the prerequisite of any fruitful relationship. Without trust it just doesn’t work.

No one can love you, help you or collaborate with you without trust. Maybe for short while.

But once trust is lost, it’s all gone.

What can we do to build trust?

  1. care – just care for the other person, truly and deeply. Pay attention to their needs, problems and happy moments. Show empathy and share their feelings.
  2. be there – just be there, whenever they need you.
  3. know – know what is happening in their lives. It’s so great to see someone is paying attention and knows something about you that you wouldn’t expect.
  4. keep promises – maybe the most important. Whenever you promise something, keep your promise. Every broken promise just drains your trust well almost to the bottom.

Trust is essential. Build it. Keep it. Don’t lose it.